Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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