You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
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