drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
