It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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