Your tits are I can't wait for
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
