Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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