ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
