Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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