k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I woke up under a house in Key West
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
