my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
