and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
