Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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