he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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