her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
