Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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