Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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