I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
