This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
