Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
