i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
