Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
