Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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