She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
