accomplished twins. life is a go
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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