I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
