You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
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Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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