She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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