do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
