she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
