im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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