So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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