The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize