Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
