I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
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Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.