we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
this is an emotional support booty call
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.