just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
