We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
