I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
