It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
