Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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