You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
