am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
