Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
