you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When did angry sex become our thing?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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