so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He told me they were just razor bumps!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
