Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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