She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
