A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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