No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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