Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
