WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
