Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize