even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
