Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
