I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
