Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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