he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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